W@nder

I'm at the library (all-nighter? too soon to tell but doubtful...) and I honestly say I love sitting in places like this. I was just at my favorite coffee shop and I honestly feel so at home there. I feel like it's because I know no one there. Why is it that I always feel so much more comfortable surrounded by complete strangers? It amazes me that we'll only see one life -our own- and never really get to experience someone else's life. This sounds weird, but I constantly think about what others go through. I don't do it often enough, but I love to look at someone and wonder where they have been, what they have done, what they are going to do. I dunno if that's weird or not, but I can't help it. It's just incredible that no life is exactly the same. You are never going to meet someone who agrees with you on absolutely everything. This scares me yet excites me at the same time. I wonder what all they see. To an artist, driftwood could be the center of his next creation, but to an uptight businessmen it's just a stupid stick (I've gotten into this argument before actually...) But everyone is so vastly different, yet so closely connected. That makes me have to wonder why people argue so, so much... I hate that everyone thinks they have to be right about everything. I am a firm believer of what I believe in, but I am more than willing to hear what others have to say. But, then again, if I know that I am right, I totally will not give up anything haha! I'm quite the stubborn one sometimes.

I still question why I am writing all of this. I still wonder who may stumble across this someday, if anyone at all. But it makes me feel better, just talking. It clears my head a little bit....

vague, but true.

i started this blog a long time ago, but I unfortunately deleted my posts. I thought I was a stupid kid, but then I realized that's just who I am. Granted, I've grown up quite a bit, I'll give myself credit there. Maybe not in the best direction, but this is the path I'm on for the moment. Until I find a pleasing detour, I plan to stick with it. I wish I would have stuck with this before, but it's just not something to fret about. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sounds cliché, but it's the only thing that gets me through the troughs in the ups and downs of my life. I believe there has to be something else out there. I have to. We are much too insignificant to think otherwise. I'm not exactly sure what that thing might be, but in my darkest hours, it makes me feel less alone. I had an in-depth conversation with someone that I never thought I would and I've been impacted ever since I think. but that's a completely different novel, one which I'd prefer not to open currently. But he did inspire me to do this. Then again, I'm as malleable as play-dough sometimes. I think it's because I'm on this constant search to make me happy. I am constantly looking for myself. I actually think, on some level I already know. I also think that all the levels around it are trying to keep it from escaping.

But this is where I'm leaving you, for the moment. I need to write in Spanish for a while and study for a major test as well. I know I'll be writing again; too many thoughts, so little of them dealing with what I need them to be about. So, until a few hours from now, keep doing what you need. Do me a favor and do something for you. It makes my job easier.